Okay, time out. Something doesn't feel right.

Sunday's first section of the New York Times was my favorite ever, ever, ever, ever.

If you were from Mars and tried to figure out who the people in the USA are, you would be totally confused. And I am not talking about the news.

Past the headlines, pages 2 & 3 are about diamonds and furs and fragrance and watches. Valentine's Day is coming up so we can forget we are in a recession apparently.

Page 5 - There is a rousing "We are here for you and we have always been (even though we screwed up with Merrill Lynch") note (full page!) from Bank of America. Come to us and borrow money! "This is America." it says.

Page 7 - full page! - Citibank. More of "come borrow" but with a Disney Imagineers flair. "Every imagination needs access to capital."

Page 9 - A scary one. 56 TRILLION. The Peter G. Peterson Fund thinks committees of citizens can do better than congress at solving our problems. I thought that committees of concerned citizens WAS congress.

Page 11 - full page! - Let's take the kids to the Bahamas! (Wait...I thought no one had any money for vacations? )

Page 13 - This is my favorite page. "The Value of Team Member Recognition" signed by John Stumpf, Wells Fargo CEO. I am going to write a whole separate post on this one. If you are from Mars, you may not know that banks have bad PR right now. Spending money on employee outings (like going to the awards dinner in the Bahamas) wouldn't be prudent in the eyes of your stock holders. But John Stumpf sounds annoyed. Ah, I smell a double standard. More later.

Page 15 - Forget page 13. Let's go to Barcelona! Only $192 one way. We can forget about all this and eat paella.

Page 17 - I've changed my mind let's buy a 3% CD with the money we don't spend on a trip to Australia.

Page 19 - More of the same

Page 21 - We must think about redecorating our home. It is very patriotic, apparently. They say it's a President's Day Sale.

I'm confused, again. I must be from Mars.